Saturday, July 26, 2008

Polish Vowel Sounds

POLISH DIVORCE

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him -"very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?" POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" POLE: "It made of concrete." LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one." LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?" POLE: "All my relations still in Poland." LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?" POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player." LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?" POLE: "No, I always up before her." LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?" POLE: "No, she white." LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?" POLE: "She going to kill me."LAWYER: "What makes you think that?" POLE: "I got proof." LAWYER: "What kind of proof?" POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover.'"

By the way, I have many good friends who are Polish so this is all in good fun.

1 comment:

Agatha said...

Was looking for some clues regarding vowel change for a phonology class, but this was much more entertaining, thanks! :)

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