Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Classified Ad Language Funnies

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.

No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Père Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Chopin and Jean de la Fontain.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

And now, the Superstore - unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.


Spellsmith said...

I love things like this :) I'm sure you're already aware of it, but there's a few books, "Anguished English" and "More Anguished English" which specializes in 'mistakes' like this.

Monica said...

Priceless! Its amazing what a few misplaced modifiers can do!

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