As a follow up to yesterday's post, the Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words. And the winners are:
1. coffee (n.): The person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted (adj.): Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate (v.): To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade (v.): To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly (adj.): Impotent.
6. negligent(adj.): Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph (v.): To walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle (n.): Olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. flatulence (n.): Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash (n.): A rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle (n.) A humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude (n.): The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon (n.): A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster (n.) A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.): The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent (n.): An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Come on readers - we can come up with some better ones. Send comments.
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