Friday, May 7, 2010

Playing with Spelling, Sounds and Semantics - Linguistics Humor Part II

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
4. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
5. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
6. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
7. A calendar's days are numbered.
8. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
9. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
10. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
11. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
12. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
13. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
14. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
15. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
16. Tonto’s banker…the Loan Arranger.
17. If a skunk went to church, would it sit in its own pew?

- From an e-mail, author/s unknown

For more linguistics humor check out:
Playing with Spelling, Sounds and Semantics - Linguistics Humor Part I


4ndyman said...

They refused to let the lieutenant into the general store. (A bad one, I know.)

John designed a new kind of toilet, but everyone poo-pooed it.

The streaker has been at it for many moons.

4ndyman said...

Oh! One more!

Iris's botched eye surgery made her unsightly.

Laura Payne said...

Thank you 4ndyman - even the "bad one" made me chuckle.

JCR said...

One casket said to the other, "Is that you coffin?"

Laura Payne said...

JCR - Have you ever seen a stiff drive a Flex?

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