In case you haven't seen the list yet - here are the winners of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
18. Vowelmovement: The inevitable verbal diarrhea that spews from ones' mouth when they have nothing significant to say.
My favorites are numbers 2, 4, 7, 8 and 18. Please send me comments with your favorites. Also, I think we should start coming up with more for next year's invitational. Let's brainstorm together.
5 comments:
I have a couple of ideas about next year's list. How do I send them to you?
I would love to hear your ideas. You can send them to me via comments or at paynel@rocketmail.com.
Also, if you want to enter your words in the contest you should send them to the Washington Post.
I'm partial to 8 and 11.
One "bright side" of your treatment: you will no longer have to suffer an annual
HAMMOGRAM: a diagnostic procedure to make large or dense breasts easier to scan for malignancies.
Oops -
You're wondering, "What treatment?"
This was forwarded by my friend who just had mastectomy. I mistakenly thought it was FROM her.
Love your blog though. Know that it's cheering up some people!
Having just completed my taxes, I'd have to pick #3! great list.
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