Songs of Love & Grammar (& %*# - :@; etc.)*

From James Harbeck's book Songs of Love & Grammar:

Dim innuendos

A sweet musician in a bar said, "Boy, I think you're #."
I said, "Girl, you're a ♮, but I don't want to harp."
She said, "Well, here's the key so you can get into my ♭."
The rest of it I can't repeat, so I'll conclude at that.
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Sharp, natural, flat. I didn't think it would be wise to try to include a repeat typographically - it doesn't really work without the rest of the bar lines.
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Harbeck's book is filled with over 100 pages of delightful poetry that turn grammar and punctuation lessons into fun, little love ditties.

My only complaint is that the title is a bit misleading; there seem to be almost as many songs about symbols (see Dim innuendos above), signs, and abbreviations as there are about grammar, so I added to the title of this post * & symbols, signs, and abbreviations.

Either way, it is a highly entertaining book and I recommend it to anyone who enjoys having fun with language.

You can read more excerpts from the book at Harbeck's blog Sesquiotica, (which, by the way, happens to be one of my favorite blogs).

Also, make sure to check out Harbeck's Word Tasting Notes. These notes cover the visual aspect of words, how words feel in the mouth, the semantics and etymologies of words, and more. 

Found in Translation

My cousin recently sent me a link to this UK DailyMailOnline post titled "Lost in translation: Hilarious advice signs from foreign airports... where their English leaves a little to be desired." 

I prefer to label posts like this "found in translation" because I always find myself laughing and I'm sure the intended messages not humorous in the least.

Following are some images from the post.

Thank you, Kristin.

In a Symbol

Futility Closet is one of my regular reads and I especially enjoy the "In a Word" posts. Last week one of the featured words was pilcrow and it was accompanied by an image of the named symbol (¶) along with the definition.

pilcrow
n. the paragraph sign

I couldn't resist playing with the name of the post, the word, and the image.
Thus, In a Symbol, literally.

The Semiotics of Logos II - More Lookalikes

I happened to have seen these two logos within an hour or so of each other yesterday and I was struck by the similarity between them. While I had seen them both before and am familiar with them, I had never noticed how alike they are.

It reminded me of the similarities between the Obama and Pepsi logos which I previously wrote about in The Semiotics of Logos - Obama and Pepsi are Lookalikes.

Has anyone else ever noticed the resemblance?

It is interesting that for how alike they are, what they represent are quite different endeavors.

Though, I suppose if you get right down to it, they are both about exercising (albeit different parts of the body).

You can read more about semiotics here.

Mixed Messages - Semiotics and Text Message Initialisms Don't Mix

If you see someone

DROWNING

lol

CALL 911

If it weren't for the initialisms created through text message communication, this sign would not have appeared on Fail Blog.

In the old days, the image would have been interpreted semiotically as a swimmer's head and two arms waving for help, not as a comment that suggests people should "laugh out loud" at the sight of a drowning person.

Make No Exception for Incorrect Spelling

I could comment about the odd mixture of upper and lower case letters on this sign, or about the overuse of exclamation points, but what really jumps out at me is the incorrect spelling of the word "exception".

PLeAse WAit here for Snow Bus Shuttle

thanks!!

NO DOGS!!

No EcepTions!!

(except for my dog, of course)

Signs of a Prescriptive Grammarian

What is Semiotics?

In yesterday's post about the name of T-Pain's album (THR33 RINGZ), I referred to the use of the "3's" for the "E's" as semiotic. Because semiotics is not a widely known area of linguistics, I thought I should explain a bit more. Semiotics is the scientific study of signs and their linguistic meaning. It is about the relationship between a sign and what it represents. It is about how people determine the meaning of signs. In semiotics a sign is considered anything (a symbol, an icon, a sound, a picture and so on) that stands for another thing.


With the album THR33 RINGZ, semiotics refers to the use of the use of the number "3" as a symbol for the letter "E". Semiotics also examines the relationship between the "3" and the "E" and what it is about the relationship that allows people to determine the intended meaning of the symbol.

Humorous Signs

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Semantic Funnies: Signs from Above? Part III

At a Car Dealership: 'The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.'

Outside a Muffler Shop: 'No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.'

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: 'Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!'

At the Electric Company 'We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be.'

In a Restaurant window: 'Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up.'

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: 'Drive carefully. We'll wait.'

At a Propane Filling Station: 'Thank heaven for little grills.'

Sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: 'Best place in town to take a leak

Semantic Funnies: Signs from Above? Part II

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : 'Invite us to your next blowout.'
At a Towing company: 'We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.'
On an Electrician's truck: 'Let us remove your shorts.'
In a Nonsmoking Area: 'If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.'
On a Maternity Room door: 'Push. Push. Push.'
At an Optometrist's Office: 'If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.'
On a Taxidermist's window: 'We really know our stuff.'
On a Fence: 'Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!'

Semantic Funnies: Signs from Above?

Anesthesiologist business card: 'When you care enough to sleep with the very best.'
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: 'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
In a Podiatrist's office: 'Time wounds all heels.'
On a Septic Tank Truck: 'Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.'
At a Proctologist's door: 'To expedite your visit please back in.'
On a Plumber's truck: 'We repair what your husband fixed.'
On another Plumber's truck: 'Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.'
On a Church's Billboard: '7 days without God makes one weak.'

Sign Semantics

Because of my love of words and word play, I can't help but play with the intended meanings of signs. Whenever I see this particular sign displayed (usually right at the edge of a street), I think to myself, "people really shouldn't let their slow children play so close to the street." Perhaps a better word for the sign would be CAUTION.

*

There is a sign on the side of a road near a strip mall that states -

10 BARBERS

WALK IN

Every time I pass this sign I hope that the rest of the joke and the punch line will have been added to it. It never is, so I make up my own. Ten barbers walk in to a bar and offer toupe a head for their drinks. (Not great, I know)

*

I know I am not the only one who has fun with sign semantics as someone has taken it upon themselves to alter a sign on a nearby street. The sign reads STEEL PLATE AHEAD to notify drivers that there is a steel plate across the road ahead. However, this sign happens to be on the side of the street in the front yard of an extremely modern house that appears to be constructed of steel and has all sharp edges. A sign semantician crossed out the word AHEAD and turned it into an arrow pointing to the house. I love it.

*

On a final note about signs, the close attention I pay to sign semantics and the words on signs may date back to my youth. I grew up near a neighborhood called Lone Pine Estates, I will never forget when a fan of word play changed the sign to read Lone Penis Estate.